Life is full of surprises, and sometimes the surprises you encounter are complete nightmares. Losing a child is just one example of a horrible event that can happen out of nowhere, and this can be one of the hardest things you may ever go through in life. If you are married, this event can also take a major toll on your marriage. If you want to avoid losing your marriage after losing a child, you may need to seek help from a counselor. Through counseling, you might be able to prevent a divorce from occurring, and this might involve focusing on the following things.
Losing A Child Can Strain The Marriage
Couples that lose a child will go through a lot of emotional trauma and pain from their loss, and this type of pain can lead to strain on the marriage and possibly even to divorce. When parents lose a child, they are often filled with troubling thoughts, questions, and fears. They are consumed with grief and sadness, and they often have difficulty moving on in life.
Because of these things, a couple may grow apart from each other. They may have trouble talking about how they feel, and they may be filled with anger or desperation, and spouses might end up aiming these feelings at each other. While couples do not do this intentionally, it is something that can naturally happen when a major loss or problem in life occurs. It's important to know that divorces do not occur for most couples that lose a child. In fact, losing a child could actually bring two spouses even closer together.
Your Spouse Is Experiencing The Same Pain As You
One reason your marriage might be able to survive this huge loss in life is by recognizing that you and your spouse are the only two people that share the extent of this loss equally. While men and women often grieve differently, a mother and father are the only two people who will truly feel the pain caused by losing a child. If you can realize and remember this, you both might be able to cling closer to each other for support and comfort.
Branching Out For Support Will Be Beneficial
While your spouse may be the only person that knows exactly how you feel and what you are going through, it's important for you to branch out for help. If you don't, you might inadvertently hold your spouse solely responsible for your comfort during this time, and your spouse might not emotionally be able to give you what you need.
Instead, seek help from others. Talk to a couple close, trusted friends or family members on a regular basis, and join a support group for parents that have lost children. Seeking outside help can offer you comfort and encouragement, and it can also help you avoid placing too much responsibility on your spouse.
Counseling Services Can Also Help
Finally, you may want to talk to your spouse about seeking marriage counseling services. This could not hurt in any way, and it may offer more benefits than you think. Through counseling, you can both talk about how you feel, and you can also learn important strategies for keeping your marriage together and strong. To do this, your counselor might recommend spending a certain amount of time together each day, and he or she might suggest going away for a weekend here and there.
It can be hard to describe the pain parents feel after losing a child, but this type of event does not have to cause your marriage to end. If you recently lost a child and are struggling to get by, consider scheduling an appointment with a marriage counselor for help.